My husband and I were recently in Israel. Almost everywhere we went, we saw children, running, playing, shouting. I thought that Jesus must have seen children, too, as He visited the places we did, and I was tenderly reminded of how much He loves children.

   On one occasion the disciples tried to keep the children from Jesus, and the Bible says He rebuked them. Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 19:14).

   Jesus not only had a special love for children while He was here on earth, but when He returns He is going to give special attention to them. Zechariah 8:5 says, And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

   Unfortunately, there are people today who do not share God's love for children. Instead, they abuse children, mistreat them, and even kill them. Child abuse is now being called "the most under-reported crime in the United States." America's children -- our nation's most precious resource -- are in peril.

   Scarcely a day goes by without the headlines screaming out the tragic loss of a child's life somewhere in the country, or the media reports another case of sexual abuse of an innocent child or the beating of a youngster. It is a tragedy, a crime of monstrous proportions, with children -- the most vulnerable members of our society -- the targets of abuse.

   Psychologists are now telling us that parents who physically or emotionally abuse their small children were reared in a similar manner. In view of this, child abuse is a matter we must make our concern. My reading has revealed that parents who batter their children, whether emotionally, physically, or a combination of both, say that is how they were raised. They say they don't know any other way to keep their kids in line. Thus the cycle of abuse continues from one generation to another.

   One tragedy of child abuse is that parental or adult child abusers often go unrecognized for a number of reasons. Often the outside world really doesn't want to become involved in what could turn out to be a long, drawn-out situation. There may not be enough evidence for outsiders to justify their early involvement, or they may want to spare the child any additional, needless hurt.

   Another reason child abusers go unrecognized and unpunished is because of adult denial. When a child reports that he has been or is being abused by an adult, too often his parents or the authorities will deny it. Some parents who do not wish to cause problems within the family or with friends or neighbors will shame their children into silence.

   We have Sigmund Freud to blame, in part, for parental denial. He fashioned what came to be called the "seduction theory" based upon early encounters with young girls who were brought to him by their parents. In 1905 he published the theory that children were ruled by their infantile sexual desires and that the sexual "abuses" children reported could not be believed as real events because the abuses were merely the children's own deepest wishes.

   Because of this, our culture, pervaded with Freudian psychology, for 60 years has ignored or de-emphasized children's reports of seduction, cruelty, and sexual coercion by family members and/or by friends or neighbors.

   Some adults are now speaking out after years of silence and telling of their experiences as abused children. They say that a common message they received was, "You're bad even to think such thoughts," when they tried telling their mothers what was actually happening.

   Fortunately, today people are beginning to be aware of child abuse, to talk about it, and to do something about it. Recent reports in the news media about child abuse at preschools have done much to heighten public awareness of the problem. This has led to the formation of community services and self-help groups to deal with the increasing problems both for abusers and the abused.

   Awareness within the Christian community has grown along with public awareness. Adult "care-givers" in both arenas are working diligently to provide treatment and counsel. They are even teaching youngsters how to protect themselves from abuse and where to go for help if it is needed. We should recognize and admit that the abuse of children is a problem that affects not only society but the church as well. The church should be ready at all times to minister to an abused child or to an abusive family.

   How is child abuse actually defined? The public is, by and large, uncertain as to what constitutes abuse, and that accounts, in part, for an under-reporting of suspected child abuse.

   "Doesn't every parent have the responsibility and the right to discipline his child?" someone may ask. As Christians, we believe we have a biblical mandate to train up our children in the way they should go, and where necessary, to use corrective measures. My own parents, as well as Jack's parents, exercised controlled discipline with us, and I see others doing the same. The key word is controlled.

   Professionals who speak of child abuse are not referring to the spankings parents give their children now and then when the children deserve a firm hand on the bottom of their anatomy. Abuse, they say, isn't something that happens "now and then." It is consistent and severe and is motivated by the parents' hostility and unresolved inner conflict rather than by a desire to change the child's behavior. It is usually irrational and uncontrolled.

   Often the abusing parent has unrealistic expectations of what the child is capable of doing and giving. I've seen parents fly into a rage in a restaurant when their two- or three-year-old spills his milk. Parents who respond in an uncontrolled manner will view the child's accident as a commentary on their behavior rather than as a normal three-year-old's clumsiness.

   The National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse describes child abuse in this way:

• Child abuse is an injury or a pattern of injuries to a child that is non-accidental.

• Child abuse is damage to a child for which there is no reasonable explanation.

• Child abuse includes nonaccidental physical injury, sexual molestation, neglect, and emotional abuse.

   Nonaccidental physical injury may include severe beatings, burns, human bites, or immersion in scalding water.

   Sexual molestation is exploitation of a child for the sexual gratification of an adult, such as rape, incest, fondling of the genitals, or exhibitionism.

   Neglect is a failure to provide a child with the basic necessities of life which include food, clothing, shelter, or medical care.

   Emotional abuse is excessive, aggressive, or unreasonable parental behavior that places unreasonable demands upon the child to perform above his capabilities. Examples may include constant teasing, belittling, or verbal attacks; no love, no support, and no guidance.

• Child abuse is NOT usually a single physical attack or a single act of deprivation or molestation. Child abuse is a pattern of behavior. Its effects are cumulative: the longer it continues, the more serious it becomes and the more serious the child's injuries.
  Signs of abuse: what to look for

     What should you look for if you suspect abuse? Are there signs?

     Victims will often retreat into a silent world. The reason for this is that they are frightened or they may innately sense that what has happened to them is wrong and they are too embarrassed to tell. They believe they will be thought of as bad and that they will be blamed or punished.

     Watch for physical signs, warnings that something is amiss. There may be bruises, welts, genital pain, or bleeding. If a parent observes drastic changes in a child's behavior, he or she should be sensitive to the fact that something may be wrong. A toilet-trained child may suddenly, for no apparent reason, become a bed wetter. A child might resist a babysitter whom he or she hadn't objected to previously.

     Children may be sending unspoken messages -- an unusual quietness...not wanting to discuss things that are happening at school. Or the children may be unusually fearful. There may be a cringing, drawing back from being touched, a reluctance to meet strangers or even people they know.

     A child's inability to concentrate in school and subsequent poor grades may indicate that some form of abuse is occurring in the home. A child's withdrawal from friends and fun activities or difficulty in sleeping or eating are other signs that something is amiss.

  What can you do?

     If you are a parent or care-giver and you suspect child abuse, take the child to a physician. Reassure the child that you love him, but take steps to protect the child by calling the police or child welfare bureau. Above all, provide that assurance the child needs from you. Impress upon him that he didn't do anything wrong in telling you. If you suspect your spouse is molesting your child, win the child's confidence and ask appropriate questions.

     Teach your children how to recognize danger. Let them know that most adults are loving people but that there are some who may cause them harm. They need to be taught that they are not to go anywhere with a stranger or even with a casual acquaintance and that they are never to accept candy or money from such a person. Teach your children to say no to an adult who tries to bribe them in some way.

     Teach your children that there are some parts of the body that are not to be touched by other people. You can teach your children that not even people they love and trust should ever touch them in these places...and they should be wary when adult friends are acting secretive or when they say, "Don't tell."

     If you are an abusive parent who needs help, I am happy to tell you that there are support systems available. Parents Anonymous has chapters throughout the country which offer non-judgmental help. Their toll-free number is 1-800-421-0353. Another self-help organization is called SCAN, Stop Child Abuse Now. For these and other helpful groups, look in your telephone book under "Child Abuse."

     There are also community mental health clinics which provide help; family counseling services; city, county, or state social agencies; family mediation and crisis centers; and parents' aid societies. All such agencies and organizations are listed in the telephone directory white or yellow pages and most provide services free of charge.

     If you suspect that a child is being abused in some way -- whether physically, verbally, emotionally, sexually, or through neglect -- act at once by calling the police department. Even if you have no proof, don't hold back. Don't be afraid of "causing trouble." I've been told that the police will act on anonymous complaints of suspected child abusers, so don't fear involvement with the authorities. Remember, it is the lives of innocent children who are in peril.